A (joyous & sorrowful) Hiatus

Dear Ones,  it’s been five years!!  What happened??

One month after my new site was up and i had put up the first post, LIFE happened.  Family CALLED.  Thunderously.  And my life changed completely.

First of all, our daughter announced that she and her husband were having twins!! (In Maine, two states away!!) Would i please come and help??  Being hugely maternal, i could NOT have said “no”.  Thus began what has become five years of childhood- immersion!!  Exhausting and endlessly entertaining, these little fireballs are my heart’s delight!!

Though i was deeply glad to be able to be in sacred service to the beloved one whom I had birthed and raised and encouraged all these years…i was also suddenly uprooted and missing my usual ground of being in Vermont, the platform of my life and marriage, ministry and teaching. During the intense months of the twins’ first summer, I saw the ocean exactly two times, though I could hear it a mile or two away from my bedroom window at night. I forgot to meditate, I forgot to go outside, I saw no friends… needless to say, my batteries ran down.  I returned to the arms of my dear husband, and rested for the winter…

The next Spring,  the sister who had been living with our 88 year old mother for years suddenly threw the ball to me and moved to Florida. I had been traveling between Maine and Vermont, but suddenly,  I needed to be in residence in Maine with Mom. Very synchronistically, my daughter, her husband, and their darling little ones live 10 minutes down the road,  so the writing on the wall read: MOVE TO MAINE.  So clear.  And yet… so far away –  far from the land we loved in Vermont, our community, our friends, our work.  Vermont: the golden setting of our 15 happiest years and greatest fulfillment imaginable — how could we blithely leave??  It was heart-wrenching.  But, once in Maine, it was simultaneously heart-fulfilling and profoundly right to be serving a need in my own family.  My soul was taking care of me, even if i tended to forget; guess what — Mom lived on the ocean!!  Walking her dog on the beach every day became my meditation, my chapel, my worship, my relief… Walking my mother Home became my sacred privilege.  We did puzzles, we got ice-cream cones, we talked and talked. I learned so much.  It was a joyous and confusing time, intimate and complex, ripe with love, rotten with death.  She left us suddenly one night and the hard part of grieving began… and lasted….. IMG_2878

But Now, the twins turn five this week!! Our new home is filled with Hello Kitties and jellybeans, dolls and puzzles, crayons and dress-ups…. it’s been a cascade of blessing upon blessing witnessing the miracle of growing kids, the magic of identical twins, sitting both on my lap…learning to draw, learning to read, blowing Bubble Towns on the deck, feeding the chickens, chalking Holi colors all over the Buddha and Mother Mary statues on the terrace… so many sweet memories, aching limbs, and chocolate chip cookies!!

Where have I been??  Immersed in life.  In death.  In joy.  In sorrow.  In mundane everyday miracles.  How amazing!!  (“After enlightenment, the laundry.”)IMG_4835

I’m back, With All My Heart,  Jennifer

My love to you….

I am so happy about creating this new site!  I had a sweet site up for years but it was too broad in scope,  had my art work and grandkids and everything on it, and  it was expensive,   so then i had someone else make me a site for the Mystery School teachings, but the format didn’t ring true for me, I never even published it…  so NOW,  I’ve felt inspired to do this new site myself, using the blog and pages format together.

It will put Jeshua’s amazing Apprenticeship course out to a much wider field, and combine it with my own insights and experiences living the truth of my own divinity, as Jeshua taught me.  In these posts, I will share my own awakening journey, as well as transcripts from the many sessions I have enjoyed with Lesley over the years since my own Apprenticeship with Him.

They say when the student is ready, the teacher appears.  That was certainly true for me…  In 2005, I was in my second year of Chaplaincy training at the local hospital, planning on a traditional seminary school and future in the Episcopal church, longing to know and serve God with every fiber of my being — when— Jeshua came into my life and everything changed.  This was a shock – of the most amazing kind- for me.  I knew Jesus, i thought, and loved him deeply, but when I heard about a channeled course offered by Jeshua, I was boggled.

Would Jesus speak through a channel? After 2,000 years what would he say???  this may sound silly now that we have become much more accustomed to the idea of channeled messages, even from such a luminary as Jeshua, or Jesus (such as my friend John Smallman’s messages) but back then, for me, this was a RADICAL notion, and not a little scary. (My priest at the time scoffed, and that was a whole ‘nother lesson!)

I Thank God “and all my lucky stars” for a conversation with my heart sister Titia who had just enrolled herself in the course that Lesley was offering. I said it sounded amazing but i didn’t think I could afford it.  She offered to pay for me.  I was floored.  I melted all over the floor.  I wept with gratitude that anyone not a blood relative would offer me such a huge gift.  It was the sign I needed to realize that this was meant to be…   Much later I realized that our higher selves had planned it all with Jeshua to make sure that I would have no practical excuse to refuse.  Of course, it had to be my choice, and I had to be open.  My prayer all my life was consistently, through all my wild and wooly career as a human, that if I ever met Jesus on the road, that I would recognize Him.   Thank my angels and “all the powers that be” — I did.

This was the first of many miracles, which I will share here over time.  All the experiences and learning that flowed from this one choice will take me a long time to write down; I’ll have to do it little by little,  but it is absolutely thrilling to begin… and to realize… WOW — I’m no longer afraid to tell my truth!!!!!

In the spirit of love,  Jennifer